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My partner (we are gay males) left me after 10 years together. We had a good relationship, with the usual ups and downs. I found out that he had been seeing another man, but he says he hasn’t left me for him. We have been in regular contact, but I have been forced to leave my home because of debts - which he has walked away from. We are going to couple counselling this week. I feel he may be saying things that I just want to hear. I am a Libran, he is an Aquarian, aged 46 and 47 respectively. Will he be coming back, or is this just his calculating game plan? - Dave, Kent
I’ve a hunch that both you and your partner are dealing with life-cycle issues. It’s not just about whether Libra or Aquarius are compatible, it’s about what you want to do with your life at this particular stage. As we move through our lives we have different needs, and in terms of relationships every now and then there can be a changing of the guard.
Looking at your partner, he has Jupiter in Capricorn. Sometimes Jupiter in Capricorn people put a high premium on their own material interests, often to the point of being selfish. Jupiter has a twelve-year cycle, and at the end of December 2007 it entered Capricorn, and so returned to the sign it was in when he was born. And it stays in Capricorn for the duration of 2008. It’s therefore possible that he became very focused on his material needs, and that emotional and personal considerations were increasingly pushed into the background. This might partially explain why he walked away from his debts. But maybe you’re seeing a side to him that you previously hadn’t been aware of?
Another point to consider is that in Hindu astrology the forty-seventh birthday is important. Your partner turned forty-seven in January or February of this year, and on this birthday Ketu, the ninth planet of Hindu astrology, matured. As a result he may have developed powerful desires. These desires could relate to any area of life, and he may be feeling that his usual way of being wasn’t giving him the possibility to achieve his desires. Which might explain why your relationship moved into some kind of crisis.
In some ways it’s very fortunate that you and your partner are both Air signs - these signs being Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. The Air signs tend to be logical, and when a relationship between two Air signs runs into turbulence there can be a civilised discussion. So what you perhaps need to do is have this discussion, and find out what your partner is looking for. Because I really do believe that his recent behaviour is not about you, instead it’s about his life direction.
As to your question about whether or not he’s coming back, the issue is, I think, whether or not his relationship with you is helping him get to where he wants to go. This is something you and him have to work through.
By the way I’m not convinced that your partner is indulging in a ‘calculating game plane’. Instead, he is aware of the things he has and hasn’t achieved, and he’s still working out what he needs to do in the real world to reach his destination. At least that’s my view.
Finally, you need to think of yourself. You’re a Libran, and if you’re typical of your sign it’s important for you to be in a relationship. But emotionally you’re able to move on if things aren’t working out. And perhaps you have to start thinking about your own desires? You’ll be forty-seven in the Autumn, there are certain things, which might seem unimportant now, which you’re going to want very badly in six months time. Don’t let anyone stand in your way!